Tuesday 5 July 2016

Hit mute. Unfollow. I don't mind because I'm proud of my kid.

I share a lot of pictures of Bea. Post a lot of updates about her. I've lost count of how many thousands of photos I've taken. For some of you this is probably what you think:


Fair play. By all means hit unfollow on Facebook, mute me on Twitter because I'm not going to stop anytime soon. When you suffer with low self esteem it's crippling. Deep down I know I do a good job at work, that I'm a good Mum but there's always this nagging voice in the back of my head telling me I'm worthless. These days it's a a little quieter than it used to be; still there though. Telling me I'm going to get sacked. That my Mum doesn't love me. That I'm failing at this parenting lark. How could anybody love me?

And then there's Bea. An absolute shining light in a world that's so dark. She's far from perfect, she can be hideous when she wants to be but I adore her. I can see that she's pretty but that's so superficial. She's so much more than that; funny, clever, thoughtful, argumentative, challenging, loving and the only thing that enables me to keep my head above water some days.

For good measure here's one more picture of her. Dozing on my knee as she waits for Muse (look at her Eiffel Tower earrings!). The love of my life. Bea.